Finally decided

After crying for sooo many days now, I finally decided. Yesterday, I couldn't stand it anymore. All the tears, the misery and the missing and in the end I called my mom. I told her that I can't stand studying here anymore that I want to go home. I told her everything. How much I dislike the classes here, how I don't understand the people here and how I don't get the classes here. After telling her the whole story in between sobs, she finally said that she will discuss with my dad.

They called me through MSN that night and told me that I can come home anytime I want. That was one answer I had never anticipated. I had always thought that they would ask me to stay on, to continue or even scold me for causing them to spend so much money in sending me over here and then have me giving up.

I had thought of staying here for 1 semester, to give the life here a chance, but after going to class today, I realize that I can't do that. I can barely understand what the lecturer said although everyone seem to be understanding perfectly fine. The classes here are so boring, unlike the classes we had back at HELP. I have little friends and no one to turn to. Add on with the homesickness, that was the last straw. I tried envisioning myself, studying there for the rest of the semester but I can't. Everytime I think of forcing myself to go on with the semester, I find tears in my eyes. Going to lectures also bring tears to my eyes and I can't pay attention to the lecturer here and I did try doing that, but in the end I understood nothing.

I checked out the university fees refund and found that I can get a refund. I talked to my dad and he said, if I am feeling that bad I might as well just come back and continue to study in KL. He told me that the choice is mine and that he will support whatever I choose. So, I choose to return. I choose to go back to KL because I just cant stand things here anymore. Coming here for a holiday is alright, but staying here is just not for me.

I spoke to many people, and they all suggested that I stay for at least 1 sem. But the people whom matters to me most, my family, Michelle, my friends all said that if I can't take it there, just come back and I will be welcomed with open arms. I am very very lucky to have these people in my life. I am very very lucky to have them with me. And I am very very lucky to have these people forever supporting me in every decision I make.

So yes, I am going back to KL. I had wondered what people will say, but everyone told me that this is my life and I just shouldn't care what people will think. Only I know what is the best in my life.

Yes, I am going home.

I am finally going home...